The Same… Yet Very Different

There’s a chapter that I will never forget,
To be honest, I don’t think I’m over it yet,
It seemed that with every page I turned,
My story continued with another burn.

I tried to scream out that this wasn’t the same,
Each time I pleaded “please never again”
Each time I begged my head to just stop,
Yet still the voices continued to talk.

I wasn’t “psychotic” as each time I knew,
Exactly the damage that I meant to do,
This was so different than ever before,
I destroyed my body then destroyed even more.

Each time I felt so much deep shame,
As the nurses had to take care again,
Plastic surgeons had to operate,
Dear god, please help me for goodnessake!!!

The guilt that I felt taking that bed,
I begged that I could go home instead,
I knew someone else could need their help,
Someone who hadn’t done it to themselves.

Psychiatrists always sent me home,
Each time they knew that I’d be alone,
This chapter I know I will never forget,
And forever I’m going to live with regret.

Angela M