So Familiar

Another layer of sadness, another layer of shame,
I bring it on myself so I’m the one to blame,
I take responsibility although you think I don’t,
You don’t seem to see that, or maybe you just won’t?

You’re asking me questions but I don’t want to talk,
I cannot find the words, drowning in my thoughts,
Drowning in this madness for here we are again,
I dare not look at you for I know you think the same.

“So how did this happen?” the first Dr asks,
Repeated by the 2nd, 3rd, 4th and last,
I’ve tried to be polite but eventually I scream,
“You already know!!” and we both know what I mean.

They call for the psychiatrist but if they only knew,
There’s absolutely nothing that they are going to do,
I’ve been here before and I know the story well,
They silence me each time and so my story I don’t tell.

I let them “tick their box” just like they do each time,
The little box that states “she’s absolutely fine,”
The little box that says “please do not detain”
I guess in their eyes they think i’ll never change.

Angela M